Roll Dem Bones (by Tim Burton)

So you’ve managed to sneak backstage during the Warped Tour in a vain attempt to slip Fat Mike your poor quality demo CD. After snooping around for what seems like an eternity, you locate the NOFX HQ near their tour bus — a shoddy looking white EZ-Up tent with the band’s name spray painted across the front. Silently plotting the next move, you’re stopped in your tracks by a loud, drunken mass congregating just outside the tent. A handful of musicians, road crew and other farmer’s tanned punks are rolling dice and clutching a fistful of Abe Lincolns. What the hell are they up to? They’re playing C-LO, a wildly popular gambling excursion that has been creating high rollers and penniless chumps behind the scenes at Warped for over a decade. Tim Burton (aka Johnny Vegas) of the Mighty Mighty Bosstones originally penned a beginner’s guide to C-LO for the legendary RUDE: International Magazine back in 1998 and has allowed us to reprint it here. Hopefully, with a little help from Fat City’s fan base, we can put a halt to all those damn Texas Hold ‘Em poker shows and put gambling back in the seedy alleyways where it belongs.

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